Bah Humbug!

You are all off our Christmas Card list!!

Okay okay so it's not quite like that but it is true... for this year. You see, Johnny had never really celebrated Christmas before I came along and for the last three Christmases I have made him celebrate Christmas: bringing him to friends and family's places, buying lots of presents, writing lots of cards etc. Therefore, Johnny and I decided that it was only fair that I did Christmas his way this year, i.e. NO Christmas.

Now, don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean we will sit there with grinch-like expressions on our faces and growl at anyone who dares to wish us a Merry Christmas, it just means that we won't be sending any cards or buying any presents for anyone this year and we are going to spend a quiet Christmas at home with just the two of us. We may pop in on our Kiwi friend Craig who is also home alone on Christmas for a few bevvies later in the day and we are even planning on going to Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve but all-in-all it is going to be a very quiet one for us.

So, in the spirit of that, I would like to share with you a note that someone recently sent me:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, nonaddictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter/summer solstice holiday, practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that it is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message (DON'T PRINT!!!); however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.